Be Incorrect !!

Markets worldwide are undergoing “Correction”. I may be stretching this too far(as markets are not just “correcting” but “crashing”). But I felt this is an appropriate time to pen my thoughts on being “correct” !!

We live in an ecosystem wherein being “correct” is critical. Individuals need to be seen or perceived to be on the correct(or right) side of things – Politically correct(at your workplace/family), Socially correct (in the “samaj”), Religiously Correct (Secular ?? or Pseudo secular??)

Most of us abhor politics , but end up being worse than politicians when it comes to dealing with people & situations at home or at workplace. We want to be seen moving with the right people at work. In this context, “right people” are those who don’t speak out their minds & hence are in the good books of all !! The whistle blowers or the “truth speakers” are often unpopular. These folks don’t care a damn for sounding politically correct. But we don’t want to be seen in the very company of them for long as it would “brand” us as being INCORRECT !!

The ecosystem drives us to be “Socially Correct”. Lavish & extravagant spending during festivals & weddings is the order of the day. It does attract media attention, but mostly for all the wrong reasons. These days, weekend talk-shows focus on how socially insensitive we have become. Every extravagant celebration is said to be adding fuel to the fire dividing the Rich & the Poor. Social activists criticize the affluent in indulging in all the niceties when millions of their countrymen are on the streets. But, these very social activists don’t hesitate to fly “Business Class” (& not “Economy Class”) on International routes ! (Note : I myself know of a self proclaimed & popular social worker who flies Business Class during International travel. The very project she opposed for several years has now been completed & is benefiting crores of people !!! She continues flying Business Class. ) Arent such people trying to be elitist, but painting a picture of being Socially Correct ? I am not against being Socially Correct per se. But, the advice to be “Socially Correct” is not being given by those who are practicing restraint and are being “Socially Correct” in the true sense of the word. You better heed the advice of those NGOs & social activists(the so called “socially correct”) failing which you would be branded INCORRECT !!

The Constitution of India drives us to be tolerant towards all religions i.e. being secular. But increasingly, the word secularism has taken the meaning “Hindu bashing”. The concept of secularism is distorted to mean “appeasing minorities”. In the process, the silent majority in India are being antagonized. The state sponsors religious tours of people belonging to a particular religion. This “sponsorship programme” has been going on for the past several decades !! Is this being secular ? Isn’t it not favouritism ? However, singing the “Saraswati vandana”(invoking the goddess of learning & seeking Her blessings) in primary schools is perceived being communal as it antagonizes the minorities ! Hindu children in some schools in India are being told not to smear their foreheads with the sacred ash (“Vibhuti” or “Thiruneer”) or wear a “tilak” on the forehead.The logic being that doing so would hurt the sentiments of the non-Hindus !! It baffles me ! How can my wearing a “tilak” offend someone else !!! Gullible Hindus are being lured into other religions in the name of doing service to the Lord & to spread the “God’s Word”. In other words, if one claims to be a proud Hindu (& that too in India, one dare not say so in any of the Arab world countries for fear of having their hands/tongue being chopped off !), he/she is labeled “communal” & hence being INCORRECT !!

My aim of writing this post is to bring out a need to be INCORRECT. I must add that “Correct” or “Incorrect” are words with highly subjective interpretations. But it must tickle a few thoughts in the reader’s mind. What is “Correct” for me need not be “Correct” for you. However by being INCORRECT, we shouldn’t be hurting fellow human beings mentally or physically.

My earnest appeal to everyone reading this post is “Don’t let the media, social activists or people(barring your well wishers) around you decide what is CORRECT for u. U decide what is CORRECT for u. If you believe that being CORRECT always doesn’t give u a sense of satisfaction, then just be INCORRECT !!!

Jai Hind ! Jai Great Lakes !

The Best People in my life !!!

There are awards for excellence in various fields – medicine, engineering, technology, research, bio technology, space, defence, social service etc..Companies & individuals receive accolades for outstanding work in their areas of expertise. But have you ever wondered why is there no award for an outstanding homemaker?? Is it because the importance of family as a unit of Indian society is fast diminishing?? Or is it simply because there are no clear set of parameters for judging a man/woman as a homemaker?? I think it is the latter. This in turn leads to the argument that giving an award for excellent “home making” assumes greater significance than all those awards mentioned above!! Being objective, it is fair to say that home makers play a role that not only secures peace at home in the present, but plays a fundamental role in converting a “house” into a “home” !!

Several home-makers (predominantly women) would qualify for this hypothetical award called the “Best Home Maker” & it would be impossible to single out one mother/woman for claiming this award. For every son(daughter), his(her) mother is the best home maker(if she is a non working Amma)
But one Home maker whom I think would win the award hands down is my AMMA (obvious choice). This article is hence a tribute to my Amma & Appa. Its always said “behind every successful man is a woman”. But success here is in terms of professional achievements. I would rephrase this commonly used sentence to suit the “Best Home Maker Award”. I would say “ Behind every successful Home Maker woman is a man” That’s how my Appa figures in this jig-saw puzzle of the “Best Home Maker” award !!

One word which would describe my Appa is “Contented”. A man with minimum wants and one who has exemplified the concept of “Simple Living, High Thinking”. Inspite of passing out from the one of the prestigious IITs, he is an edifice of humility. Contemporary IITians were busy chasing their careers with great vigour and hence making a fortune. But here was a man who looked beyond himself and chose a career path which would give plenty of learning opportunities and a stable source of income. Now,how many would settle for such a career??? This was primarily because he was driven by a set of values which propelled him to believe that his children’s education was his top priority !! This in turn made him sacrifice a lucrative career path he was offered in the prime of his career !!! How many B.Tech MBAs would do that ???

My Amma is best described by one phrase: “ An ocean of love & mercy”. She is one of those who would not just sympathize with a less privileged being (man / animal), but also take action to lessen their pain. She has been a great friend, philosopher & guide to me & my brother. We(myself & my brother) have spent more time with Amma than with Appa as she has always been there for us at home whenever we wanted- a luxury we couldn’t enjoy with Appa. Often minimum interaction between father & children tends to create a division between them.The mother thus plays a crucial role in ensuring that this divide is contained and prevented from becoming a gulf. My Amma played the role of strengthening the bond between her children & her husband to perfection. She has ensured that I am not only a good citizen of this country, but also a constructive contributor to the society & to the environment.
In short whatever I am today is because of the innumerable sacrifices my parents have made !!

It is said that , cutting the umbilical cord signifies the physical separation of the child from the mother. But what it means to me, is that the need for a physical connection between the two is no longer essential as the new born & its parents are now bound together by mutual love & respect. A sense of belonging is established for a lifetime !!

I am hence puzzled & amazed to see some of my friends make statements like “ Now that I am earning, I need not depend on my parents & they better not question me on what I do with my money or with what I do with the things I buy with my money” I personally feel that such children forget the fact that their earnings today are fruits of the seeds of sacrifice sown by their parents long long ago. I would ask them , “Have your parents ever asked you to repay the money they spent on you for your education & upbringing ?”, “Have they ever refused buying you your favourite book/doll/cricket bat if they had the money ?”. Hence they do have a right to question you however old you become!!

Its time for me to payback to my parents for all that they have done to me. All I can do is seek their advice and guidance throughout my life. Walk on the path they’ve shown me with humility. Pass on these great genes to the next generation.
That’s the least I could do & ofcourse bow to the BEST HOME MAKERS of my life !!!

THANK YOU AMMA & APPA for everything !!!

Not everyone’s life changes!!

The middle class in countries across the world are said to be the “cursed” lot. In
India , they are squeezed by the government of the day by imposing tax on the income they earn and the agony is aggravate by doing so at the source of income. The rich circumvent and bend rules to protect their interests. The poor try to hang on to the subsidy/dole offered by the government of the day. The poor also do not envisage a long term vision of saving etc.. Thus caught between these two extremes in India the middle class families strive for a better life(if not for themselves, atleast for their children).Children from such families generally do not disappoint their parents and end up toiling very hard in the educational front and start their careers with a salary more than what their parents might be earning at the fag end of their careers.  So I believe for these families there is a ray of hope at the end of the tunnel. Their lives have undergone change and definitely a change for the better. However, there are a few in this society whose lives are so “wretched” that they are incapable of changing either from within or from outside. This post is dedicated to all those in this society whose lives haven’t changed for the past several years, but whose very existence in this society has helped many of us sleep, eat and live happily.

The first entity in society I have always spent indebted to, is the municipality/corporation employee who cleans the blockages in the sewerage system in the city. It happened once while riding from the Taj Coromandel, that a good friend of mine sitting behind me on my bike asked me a question and made me feel very very small as an engineer. She asked (seeing a man coming out of a manhole in the busy, arterial Anna Salai), “Isn’t there a way, u as an engineer, can do to improve this guy’s quality of work?” I gave her some explanation which I realized was far from “convincing” according to any stretch of imagination.  I have also seen a similar person(working with the same organization) near my house doing the same job. The question asked by my good friend always flashed in my mind. What have I done as an educated person to improve this guy’s life? What can I do to bring him out of this “hole” created my “man”? Has his life changed from what he was 10 years back ? Will his life be any different 5 years from now? I am dumb.

The second entity in the society I would like to ponder about is the lady who has been delivering milk to our house every morning for the past 25 long years. Waking up at  3 AM everyday, waiting for the Aavin truck , sorting the half lite/1 litre packets, arguing with the truck driver, taking an exact number of packets of milk everyday & delivering the milk to the houses(around 100 in number) – is the general routine she follows. When she goes on her annual pilgrimage, she makes alternate arrangements to ensure that no one suffers. The lady (today around 60 years old) has been doing this tirelessly for the past 25 years!! Would any educated person be willing to do the same work for 25 years?? Even if he does work for so long, doesn’t he deserve a better deal from life ? from society? I am dumb again.

There are a whole lot of people whom we  need to be thankful to in this society, starting from the farmer, the construction worker, the milkman/milkwoman, the garbage picker, the person cleaning toilets, sweeping roads, cleaning the sewage…the list is actually endless !!! These folks have impacted our lives tremendously(we don’t realize how ?) Asking me how? Imagine that one of them goes on strike !! Would you or me be able to take up his/her job ?? That’s how these folks impact our lives.

When I think of such people, I feel humble and makes me accept whatever life has thrown at me as a gift. I believe that, as one goes on accumulating professional degrees, his/her outlook towards life & the society becomes narrower. We crib continuously that our life hasn’t changed to “our” liking. We don’t care to stop by and note that someone’s life hasn’t changed at all!!

I personally would like to come out of this syndrome of always complaining about life and how GOD has not been fair to me. These various invisible elements of society have all been instrumental in moulding me as an educated citizen of this country.  Hence I personally believe that we, as responsible educated men and women in the society must ensure that the lives of the children of such pillars of society are better off.

We owe it to them !! It’s the least we could do !! Isn’t it folks ? Ask your conscience.

Jai Hind!!

Jai Great Lakes!!

Life-family

Indian society has withstood the vagaries of time for the past 5000 years. By & large this social fabric has remained intact despite the onslaught by the Moghul and the British.The Indian society is an edifice consisting of blocks like religion, ethics, culture, government, laws of the land, individual citizens, family etc.. The West has always glorified the “individual”, his/her liberties, success, achievements, freedom etc. However Indian society has always thought of society as this huge giant with enormous “unsaid” powers, regulated by a strong fundamental unit called “family”. Indian(Hindu society in particular) has undergone a transition from a joint family setup to the nuclear family setup. But what is important is the fundamental unit called  “family” still exists.

What does a family provide?

The grihastha (equivalent to a householder, often used only for the married males, however represents married females also in this context) performs the “support” function for the Indian (Hindu) society. He needs to take care of people in the other stages (ashramas) of life viz. Brahmacharya (period of study), Vanaprastha (period of simple & austere living) & Sannyasa ( a period for self realization). These 3 stages are the so called “non revenue earning” or “non value adding” stages for the society as a whole, though these stages are vital for self-development. The grihastha thus needs to take care of these 3 segments in the society.

For the grihastha to generate enough output for the benefit of all, he/she needs to be in a healthy state, both mentally and physically. The physical aspect of his health is taken care of by a hygienic intake of nutritious food. The mental well-being of a grihastha must also be ensured. This is where the role of a stable and peaceful family life assumes paramount importance. There can never be a profession which does not have a fair share of events which are beyond the individual’s control. A stable and peaceful atmosphere at home (with parents initially, later with the spouse and children) provides an absorbing buffer for draining one’s worries, pressure and tension at work. Imagine this: A man comes home tired after a hectic & bad day at work and is greeted by a smiling wife and your 2 year old hugs your leg as you enter!!! Wouldn’t that rejuvenate you and recharge the body & mind almost instantaneously??

Often this stage of life is neglected by both sexes in their maddening hurry to earn more.Married couples follow their instincts to achieve material success compromising on their health, the quality of time spent together & in raising their offsprings. Now imagine this: Husband & wife work 12 hours a day, return home dead tired, see their kids in bed(thanks to the baby sitter at home),have all comforts at home, but what is lacking is a sense of belonging to each other and to the kids as such. What is the positive contribution made by the parents to the emotional well being of the child ? The material well being of the child is more than taken care off. But is it sufficient? Will the couple “earn “ the warm feeling of the little one cuddling up near them?? Will they able to buy this tender experience when the kid grows up to become a teenager? Will the little one, on growing up, have the same kind of feelings you have currently for your parents who have(maybe unknowingly or due to constraints) created a strong emotional bond with you from the days of your infancy ?

In short, will the fundamental unit of society cease to nourish the society in the future?

This post is by no means suggesting that the youth shouldn’t have professional ambitions and aspire for professional education. A professional education and a master’s or a Doctorate  holder can  dedicate himself/herself towards the general good. While one partner follows “paisa” can’t the other follow his/her “passion” for doing something which the heart says (music, dance, voluntary service, painting, teaching etcc) ? This would give the benefit of atleast one of the parents spending “quality” time with the little one in your house and also provide the most needed buffer, a calming influence on the spouse. This calming influence on the spouse generates the extra output from him/her which is phenomenally good for the society at large.

This post only asks those on the threshold of a married life(a life of a grihastha) to ponder as to what a happy & peaceful life means to them? Is it only the tangible monetary result which matters in life ? Are the intangible benefits of inculcating our rich cultural practices, our value system, ethics in our progeny not worth the paper they are written on ? Does our duty extend beyond our nuclear families to the society at large ?

The Indian civilization is the oldest civilization and has survived the worst attacks from outside. But this attack on our society and our way of life from within is a cause for concern. Thus role of the grihastha and a strong family  is thus crucial in ensuring that our great society emerges victorious from this menace currently plaguing us.

Jai Hind !!

Jai Great Lakes !!

(Please excuse the language/grammatical errors made if any)